


Whisper

by Myhoniahaka



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mental Institution, Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Love/Hate, M/M, Manipulation, Mental Coercion, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Naruto needs a hug, Protective Uchiha Sasuke, Romance, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2019-10-10 08:58:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17422853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myhoniahaka/pseuds/Myhoniahaka
Summary: Naruto traced the engraved symbol of the leaf in the middle of his forehead protector. This was the one Iruka-sensei gave him, and the last thing he wanted to do was give it away.But more than anything else, he didn't want to hurt anyone."I'm—" he said, cutting himself off as his throat clogged and his chest tightened.Quitting. Two simple words, and yet he couldn't say it.I'm quitting.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo. I love you for clicking on this story. Just a few pointers. Orochimaru does not defect from Konoha in this story. Neither does Sasuke. The Third died in the Kyuubi attack, and as a result, no one knows Naruto is the Jinchuuriki. Hope you enjoy!

The animal had taken over.

He felt in in his bones, the way his chest boiled and his limbs moved like a dance as the battle waged on. Sasuke was an opponent worthy of fighting. But it wouldn't be enough. Not for Naruto. The animal craved more than he wanted to give, and only a semblance of control could stop it from taking over his body.

He didn't have that control. He never did, and he never would.

Not when so many lives depended on him.

And he didn't want to have control anyways. Because when he did, he was so much more aware of what he was doing and it destroyed him every time.

**Kill him.**

So as the blood landed on his fist, the voice grew louder. It craved death. It wanted Naruto to finish Sasuke off. But the little bit of himself leftover fought with the voice because it was his mind and no one else's. Gaara said it was possible to reign in that monster, and what Gaara said Naruto believed. So in a desperate gamble to shut that voice off, he did exactly what it wanted him to do and grabbed Sasuke by the shoulders and pushed him to the ground before head-butting Sasuke where he lay.

He knew why the voice existed. He knew how it got inside his head, but he pretended not to, because the truth of  _why_  and  _how_  was too painful and he wanted to forget.

**Kill him. Kill him. Kill him**

His head span with a raging headache, and blood fell from his forehead to his nose. His vision, once clear and full, now swam with dizziness and he swayed on his feet. The voice still rung through his ears. But it was quieter, and the animal was lesser now.

"I did it."

For the first time in months, the voice finally quieted.

So with a clear head, Naruto felt the need to crawl over and finish this fight as soon as possible. He couldn't let the animal come back. Not when it had already weakened his mind once. He wouldn't recover a second time. But as Sasuke lifted his hand to shield himself, Naruto reeled back and gasped as he remembered that  _this was his friend._

He had never killed without the voices influence.

He had never been able to forget when it wasn't singing tunes of murder.

But that was the point, wasn't it? Kyuubi wanted him to do this without his help.

"Why are we fighting?" Sasuke said. And Naruto swallowed. What was he supposed to do? Plead temporary insanity? That was what it was, but it was also more. He'd lost control,  _again_ , and allowed Kyuubi to influence him the same way he always did.

**Kill him.**

_I don't want to._

Naruto shook his head. Sasuke was a friend. His best friend. And when the world came crashing down, he was always there, just as Naruto was always there when Sasuke's world came crashing down.

This would be no different. Sasuke would help him get back up.

"I'm sorry." Naruto said.

And the voice was quiet now, so he was allowed to get up.

"I just… lost it for a second. I'm sorry."

He was sitting on the ground, hands braced behind him to hold his body upright, and Sasuke knelt down beside him. This had happened before. They fought, and then they forgave. But Naruto had been going too far lately. He'd been fighting too harshly, and it got to the point that even Sasuke worried.

"You've been losing it a lot lately." Sasuke said. "This is the fifth real fight you've started with me. Sakura's beginning to think you hate me."

"I don't—I would never."

"So why do you keep fighting me?"

_Because it's never silent. Because he wants me to kill you._

Naruto's throat clogged up. He couldn't say it, not after last time. Not when he killed the people that tried to help him.

He wrapped his arms around his knees and hung his head. Tears lodged themselves in his eyes, but he wiped them away before they could spill.

"I just want it to stop."

And Sasuke gave the same look he always gave Naruto when he talked about the voice. Of course it wasn't a secret. After all, sometimes he responded out loud, and that brought up a wide range of questions. Sasuke in particular wanted to know every little thing about Naruto, and while Naruto would happily tell him everything, the voice was off limits.

Until the day it wasn't.

He hadn't even meant to tell him.

It just… came out one day.

But Sasuke hadn't believed him.

No one ever did.

Then again, Sasuke not believing the voice existed was the reason Kyuubi hadn't completely taken over.

"You need to get help, Naruto."

"No." Naruto said, "I need to get it  _out_."

Sasuke pursed his lips, brows furrowed as he took Naruto's hand.

"I should get out too." Sasuke said.

But Sasuke was talking about something entirely different.

After all, Sasuke  _chose_  to be with Orochimaru, whereas Naruto was forced into the world with Kyuubi.

* * *

Naruto knew it was bad when he fell asleep that night.

Kyuubi's fur cascaded down his body, and bloodshot eyes pinpointed him the moment he appeared. That was when he knew there was trouble. Kyuubi hated it when he did something wrong, and he heard everything Naruto heard, saw everything he saw, so of course he knew Naruto didn't finish the job.

"Why didn't you kill him?" Kyuubi said.

Naruto swallowed. Kyuubi had been anticipating the day Naruto committed murder without his involvement. And Sasuke was the person he wanted Naruto to kill. He never knew why. But Naruto suspected it was a trick to manipulate Naruto more than ever before.

_Maybe he plans to torture me with it._

"You let go." He said.  _I can't hurt people without you._

Kyuubi narrowed his eyes. The sewer water sloshed by his feet, but despite the smell, Kyuubi was completely focused. He gave Naruto a look, the one that told Naruto how much trouble he was in. There was never a day when he didn't get in some sort of trouble. But today, Naruto had broken every expectation Kyuubi had of him, and it was everything that determined whether Naruto was a failure or a success.

He'd always known he'd be a failure.

"So you lost, then."

"I didn't lose. I just… couldn't kill him. There's nothing wrong with that."

Kyuubi didn't freak out. He never did. There were never any speeches on how he was a disappointment. It was always just assumed that Naruto would know he was a screw up, and that was what Kyuubi counted on the most. It was what kept Naruto from telling anyone about the voice or the dreams, and it was why, despite everything, Naruto kept coming back to this sewer.

A screw up couldn't survive on their own. Naruto needed Kyuubi just as Kyuubi needed him.

Kyuubi also got much, much louder when he ignored him, and Naruto didn't want to live with thoughts of murder all the time.

So as Naruto watched Kyuubi's eyes narrow and body bend down to a hunting angle, he felt as though something horrible was about to happen. Would it be another splash of sewage water on his face? An all nighter of growls? Or a possession that would occur at random? Naruto had no way of knowing. He wished he did. It would help immensely when predicting his punishments.

And so he waited for Kyuubi's demand. He waited for the words of his punishment.

But they never came.

Instead, Kyuubi said one harmless sentence, and it sent Naruto's mind into a whirlwind.

"You'll be punished accordingly."

And so he waited, and waited, and waited. But it was weeks before his punishment took place, and Naruto underestimated how permanent Kyuubi's punishments could be.


	2. Chapter 2

When Naruto felt the pinpricks of a possession weigh through his head, he shoved it down and went straight for the Hokage. He'd postponed this for too long, and lately, Kyuubi had been getting more and more violent.

The Fifth didn't believe Naruto heard voices, and it was time she understood just how serious Naruto was about Kyuubi's existence. He couldn't understand why his claims went unbelieved. He was, after all, the only person who could fully understand what went on in his head, and when they told him he was lying, they were also saying that he didn't understand his own mind.

It was true that he couldn't grasp everything his brain offered, but he knew enough to know that there was a voice in his head.

When he got to her office, he spared no time knocking nor going through the process of small talk. He was serious, now more than he had been in a long while, and Tsunade was going to listen whether she wanted to or not.

Tsunade was leaning back in her chair, empty bottles of liquor splayed over the desk. A blush tainted her lips, and Naruto heard a hiccup escape her throat.

Although she was less than sober, Naruto was determined to see this one through. Kyuubi was much too dangerous, and Naruto had to do something,  _anything,_ to keep him contained.

"I need you to lock me up." He said.

Tsunade's head shot up, dark eyes going wide before realization dawned and she settled for another gulp of ale. She set the bottle down with a thud, and Naruto tried to ignore the way the table shook from how hard she hit it.

"What for?" She said, "you didn't commit some sort of crime, did you?"

She never believed him when he talked about the voice.  _No one_ did. It was as infuriating as it was frustrating. People thought that because he was the son of the Fourth Hokage that he was either desperate for more attention, or too perfect to have an illness in his mind.

Naruto nodded. "I kind of did, actually. But I'd prefer a mental institution over the T and I department. And I think it'll be good for me."

Her lips pursed as she narrowed her eyes. The liquor forgotten, Tsunade put all the attention on Naruto. He was paler than normal, with fidgeting hands and bad posture. He'd been asking to be institutionalized since she came into office, but all his attempts were thwarted no matter how crazy he talked or what violation he committed.

"What'd you do this time?"

The institution would put chakra cuffs on him. And that damn fox couldn't possess him without first releasing his own chakra. If he didn't have any—or rather, if he didn't have access to it— Kyuubi would have a much harder time taking over.

It was a choice of endangering Konoha or putting himself in a rough patch. And if locking him up meant no one died, Naruto would wrap himself in chains.

"Tried to kill Sasuke,  _again._ When are you going to do something about it?"

The fire of Kyuubi's chakra simmered beneath his fingertips. It wouldn't take much to convince her of Kyuubi's existence if he let the demon possess him. But if he did that, he may never come back, and Naruto would much rather convince her by his own means than by Kyuubi's.

"Sasuke's never said anything about you killing him—or trying too—and until he admits you did, I have no reason to believe you're telling the truth."

Naruto's stomped his foot. All he wanted was to keep Konoha safe. Telling people there was a demon in his head was met with disbelief. Committing minor crimes left him innocent because no one dared to say anything bad about the Fourth's son. And attempting to kill Sasuke due to a possession? No one believed him. Not once. And it was all because Sasuke never said anything about the things Naruto did.

"That's because Sasuke lies. He knows that I've—"

Tsunade slammed her fist on the desk. Her eyes were ablaze in anger, body rigid as she breathed heavily through her mouth. "Enough, Naruto. You're not getting admitted. I know you like to say there's a voice in your head, and I know you think it's cool to be institutionalized. But this isn't a joke. Get your act together and grow up before I have to do something rash."

Naruto heaved a deep breath. Kyuubi's chakra was ready for release, as it had been when he sparred Sasuke, and as it would be if he didn't get chakra cuffs around his wrists. He hoped his eyes hadn't gone red. Sasuke always said that happened when he was angry, and it signified that Kyuubi was about to take over.

He didn't want Kyuubi to do that. Not when Naruto wasn't given a choice in the matter.

"By doing something rash, do you mean institutionalizing me? You know I have symptoms of  _something._ You've seen it. You've suspected it. Just let me get help and—"

"For Gods sake, Naruto. I'm not putting you in a place like that. It's for nutcases like that Sai kid we found spying on you. You're the Fourth's son. You do  _not_  belong there."

Naruto choked on the tears that pricked his eyes. He needed to find a way to stifle Kyuubi's chakra, and by the time Tsunade did anything to help him, it would be too late.

"Fine." He said.

If Tsunade wouldn't admit him, then maybe the hospital would do so without her prompting.

Except he was a Shinobi, and ninja required the permission of the Hokage for voluntary commitment. Either he got it or he quit.

And if he couldn't get permission, then that left him only one option.

Two if he counted Kyuubi possessing him as optional.

He lifted his hands to his head and untied the knot that held his forehead protector. This was a rash move, and he was still unsure if he wanted to go through with it. Maybe Kyuubi wouldn't actually possess him. Maybe the voice truly was his imagination. Maybe everyone was right and he was lying about everything.

Maybe he never tried to kill Sasuke.

Maybe he didn't have any problems.

Maybe, just maybe, there was another option for him.

If there was one, he couldn't find it.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes. "What are you doing?" She said. And Naruto traced the engraved symbol of the Leaf in the middle of his headband. This was the one Iruka-sensei gave him, and the last thing he wanted to do was give it away.

But more than anything else, he didn't want to hurt anyone.

"I'm—" he said, cutting himself off as his throat clogged and his chest tightened.  _Quitting._ Two simple words, and yet he couldn't say it.

_I'm quitting._

The ninja way was his life. It was how he lived each day, how he met his friends, and how he grew up. Giving it up seemed like a betrayal to himself.

But not giving it up—that was a betrayal toward Konoha.

_I swore to protect this village._

And keeping the forehead protector on left him without the restrictions on his chakra that he needed.

"Well?" Tsunade said, "are you going to do it? Or do you love Konoha too much to leave it without your protection?"

Naruto swallowed. Warm tears fell down his face, and a sob ripped through his body. The hospital could lock him up if he wasn't a ninja. They wouldn't hesitate to do so if a civilian went crazy. And he wasn't getting Tsunade's permission, so if he didn't give up his status, he was never getting those chakra cuffs.

Maybe he could steal a pair.

No. He'd be put on missions and die due to his lack of chakra.

"I'm—" he said, but the words still wouldn't come.

_Do you love Konoha too much to leave it without your protection?_

Yes. He certainly did.

But Kyuubi would not protect Konoha, and restricting the demons chakra would be the same as protecting Konoha.

So it was with renewed energy, one that was less confidence and more dread, that Naruto placed the forehead protector on Tsunade's desk.

"I quit." He said. Her eyes widened, face a mask of shock and dread, "and now I'm going to the hospital. I don't need your permission anymore."

His voice cracked, and it was with loss that he left the room.

If he had known it was the last time he would see the sun, Naruto would have basked in its warmth.

* * *

_Seven years later_

Sasuke had been preparing for this day since he first learned Naruto had been admitted to a psychiatric hospital.

He'd worked his ass off, studied until his brain had blown to smithereens, and aced every test Kabuto threw his way. And five years later, the results of his work were in. He made it, and now all there was to do was help in any way he could.

The psychiatric hospital wasn't one of the best, but reviews said it had helped multiple patients, so Sasuke was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt. Especially since Naruto was in here. If he didn't believe they could help him, then there was no hope that Sasuke's friend would return to the way he once was.

He still remembered the day Naruto had disappeared.

He had told Naruto to get help.

And get help Naruto did, but Sasuke hadn't expected it to go down the way it did.

There was a woman sitting at a desk, and Sasuke walked up to her, clearing his throat to bring her attention from paperwork to him. She glanced up at him, then to the paperwork before smiling brightly and asking what he needed.

"This is my first day as a psychiatric nurse." Sasuke said, "I assume you've already got something for me to do?"

He had a guess on what today would entail. The patients needed to know who he was, and his boss had been enthralled to hear he knew one of them. Said it would help with gaining trust. But he was afraid that Naruto wouldn't trust Sasuke because they knew each other. It did, after all, create a power imbalance. And where they were once friends, they were now patient and nurse.

He didn't know how everything would pan out. His boss might be severely disappointed by his inability to get Naruto to open up  _despite_ knowing him since childhood, or he'd be excited to hear that Sasuke might be the reason for one less patient to care for.

"Oh, yes. Right through that door. Just ask one of the nurses. They'll fill you in on everything." She said. Sasuke nodded and did as was told. When he spotted the man who had interviewed him, Sasuke asked the same thing he did the woman, and his first order of business was exactly what he thought it would be.

Introducing himself.

It would be difficult, he supposed, to care for patients who didn't know him.

The cafeteria was the first place he looked, and in his hands was a handful of papers with his patients names, faces, and conditions. He'd read through every word and memorized the different ways he could help them. Naruto's case was spectacularly complicated, but Sasuke expected nothing less, and he was ready for whatever this job threw at him.

He'd already decided which approach he was going to take with Naruto. Now all that was left to do was hope he was compliant.

He spotted Naruto at one of the center tables. His hair was longer, more wild and uncombed than Sasuke had ever seen it. His face had become paler from years of being inside, and he wore the standard uniform for patients. Rather than sitting with the people who were like him, Naruto sat with the people who weren't so sick that they couldn't decipher reality from fantasy.

Depression, anxiety, panic attacks. Those were disorders that weren't likely to lead to psychosis. But Naruto, according to the file, had none of those illnesses. Yet he still chose to sit with people who could not relate to what he had.

Interesting.

It was lunch hour in the hospital, so everyone was gathered together. There were doctors spread around watching the patients, and Sasuke walked up to the table Naruto sat at. Everyone at the table quieted down when Sasuke approached, and the longer he stood there, the less they talked until finally, they shut their mouths completely.

"Need something, doc?" Naruto said.

He looked at Sasuke with recognition fluttering in his eyes, yet pretended he was a stranger. So Sasuke played along and held out his hand for Naruto to shake.

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha, your new psychiatric nurse. Mind if we step out for a couple minutes?"

Naruto didn't shake Sasuke's hand, but instead stood from the table with a wave goodbye to his friends, and followed Sasuke out of the cafeteria.

When they got to the hallway, Sasuke waited for the cafeteria doors to close before speaking. There were a couple of doctors walking the halls, but none took a second glance at them.

"What do you want?" Naruto said.

His face was a mix of anger and confusion. There wasn't any friendliness that he once greeted Sasuke with, but he hadn't been expecting any. Patients like Naruto were, more often than not, unfriendly towards their doctors. Not because they didn't believe doctors could help, but because at times, their mind created a delusion that told them that doctors  _couldn't_ help.

Then there was the paranoia, and that was something else entirely.

"I want to know how you're doing." Sasuke said.

Naruto blinked owlishly, as if processing Sasuke's request and taking as much time as needed to understand exactly what he meant. Slow processing could be a side affect of the meds. It could also be a symptom of the illness going through his head.

He made a mental note to jot it down in his notebook later.

"You're not my psychologist." Naruto said.

Sasuke sighed. He might not be the person Naruto came to for the purpose of working out his issues, but Sasuke was the person who ensured his medication, health, and prognosis went smoothly. It was just as important for him to know how well Naruto was as it was for the psychologist to know.

"No. But I am your psychiatric nurse. And knowing if everything is going well is part of my job."

Naruto furrowed his brows. He was more at ease with the idea of Sasuke being his doctor back at the table. But now that he fully understood the compositions of how Sasuke had gotten back into his life, he was more reluctant to let it happen.

And yet, there was nothing he could do about it without being labeled 'complicated to work with.'

Not that he hadn't already been given that label.

"What happened to my other nurse?" He asked.

Hinata has been working with him since he'd arrived, and Naruto loved her like he loved his friends. She had helped him more than the psychiatrist ever could, and had hoped that when she said she was taking less hours, she hadn't actually meant it.

Less hours meant a new doctor.

Less hours meant someone he didn't know would be treating him.

It was hard enough adjusting to Hinata when he first came here, but she had made the transition from life to hospital easier. With Sasuke though—

Naruto didn't want Sasuke to treat him. Not when they knew each other. Not when he'd known Naruto back before everything went to hell.

Hinata had no knowledge of who he had been before the hospital, and that made everything so much easier. Without knowing who he once was, there was no need to try to bring him back to that person. But Sasuke had known, and Naruto didn't want anyone to try to  _fix_ him.

He got enough of that from the psychiatrist. He didn't need it from Sasuke.

"She'll be here when I'm not." Sasuke said.

"Right." Naruto said. "Can I get back to lunch?"

Sasuke tapped his foot. Naruto had taken to flitting his gaze to the wall and back to Sasuke. His arms, once held limp by his sides were now crossed, and Sasuke knew that as a sign of both nervousness and defensiveness.

"Sure." Sasuke said. "But I would like to talk to you later, alright?"

Naruto crinkled his nose, turning back to the cafeteria doors and opening them. Before he left Sasuke's sight, though, he muttered the most interesting words.

"Just as long as you don't kidnap me again."

And Sasuke jotted it down in his notebook, ready for whatever came from his position as Naruto's nurse, and went to talk to the psychologist.


	3. Chapter 3

"You said you have something to discuss?" Orochimaru said.

Sasuke had seated himself on the sofa, eyes taking in everything in the room. There were posters about the brain and words of inspiration written on the walls. Vases of flowers sat on a wooden desk, and Sasuke thought it was a nice addition so long as the patients didn't get their hands on the vase.

Orochimaru, as the head psychologist, took on a majority of patients. Naruto being one of them. Sasuke had known Orochimaru from his time underground, and to this day didn't know how he'd managed to get this job with such a horrid criminal record. But little details didn't matter. Orochimaru _was_ qualified. That much Sasuke knew. Back in Sasuke's teenage years, Orochimaru had been able to dissect every brain that came his way, both literally and figuratively, and when Orochimaru wanted to use a persons vulnerabilities, he manipulated them like they were a puppet and he the strings.

Sasuke had no doubt that Orochimaru could reverse his method of manipulation and actually help people rather than hurt them.

And that was why, despite knowing everything Orochimaru had done in the past, he trusted him enough to help Naruto.

"Naruto mentioned something about a kidnapping." Sasuke said. "I was hoping to get a little more detail on what it meant."

Orochimaru leaned back in his chair. He didn't seem surprised by Sasuke's words, as if hearing that Naruto talked of kidnapping was one of the most known facts, and it made him feel like a fool for knowing so little.

But he'd been here only a couple of hours. The most he had to go on was a file and one conversation. _Of course_ he didn't know anything worthwhile yet.

"Ah, yes. Kidnapping. Naruto does love to use that word." Orochimaru said.

Sasuke raised a brow, once again jotting it down in his notebook. It was probably a chronic delusion, then. For him to talk about it often meant it would be impossible for it to be the only time he'd believed himself kidnapped. But the way Orochimaru worded it was strange. Patients, especially the psychotic one's, never _loved_ to talk about their delusions. They were almost always received with disbelief, and if anything, Naruto would believe it was real.

A kidnapped victim wouldn't love taking about how they were kidnapped.

"What do you mean?" Sasuke said.

It could be Orochimaru simply commenting on how often Naruro talked about having been kidnapped. It could be Orochimaru messing with him. But Orochimaru was a man who said what he meant and did what he said. To say Naruto loved using that word must have meant that he genuinely did love using that word.

But it made no sense. If Naruto truly had that kind of delusion, he would talk about it with the hopes of being believed. He'd be panicked, not calm. A delusion of that sort never left a patient with a sense of security.

"I think." Orochimaru said, "that he's trying to tell us something, but does not want to say it outright."

"Is he being paranoid?"

"Perhaps."

Sasuke tapped his foot on the ground. He came here for answers, not unhelpful words and phrases. To best help Naruto, he needed information. He could gather it from witnessing one of Naruto's delusions himself, but he had no idea when the next one would be, and in that time, he'd be too busy trying to calm Naruto to take notes. So his best bet was Orochimaru. But he was as useless as a mouse in a cage, and Sasuke found himself more frustrated than ever.

"Do you have to be vague?" He said.

Orochimaru smirked. "You are aware of how he came into this hospital?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I was in the trial. How could I _not_ know?"

"And he never showed any signs of illness _before_ the trial?"

"He never mentioned anything if that's what you mean."

"Schizophrenia isn't the most easiest disorders to hide, Sasuke. You're smart. Did you see anything off before he got institutionalized?"

Sasuke thought back to his genin days. Naruto had missed the chuunin exams due to his hospitalization, but before the day he'd disappeared, Naruto had picked fights. Primarily with Sasuke. And although they fought often back then, the fights Naruto picked were more violent than usual, and there were times Sasuke was sure Naruto was trying to kill him.

"He was picking fights. More than usual."

But besides that, there was nothing. Naruto did have the occasional sprout of paranoia, but nothing more than what the typical Shinobi experienced.

Orochimaru hummed, leaning back in his seat. "Really now…" He said.

His tone was filled with disbelief, and Sasuke narrowed his eyes. There was something Orochimaru wasn't telling him, and Sasuke already knew that he wasn't going to find out what it was this session.

No matter. He'd figure it out sooner or later.

"What is it?" Sasuke said despite knowing the answer wouldn't come. At most, he'd get a hint of what Orochimaru was hiding.

"In all his time here, he's never gotten into a fight."

Sasuke blinked. That was surprising. Naruto had become known for being hot tempered, and he'd gotten in trouble often for it. At one point, the Hokage had almost put Naruto on probation, but days before he could, Naruto had wound up in a hospital and had his status as a ninja dropped.

"But he was alwayspicking fights." Sasuke said.

And the idea of a nonviolent Naruto was rather soothing. As much as Sasuke loved fighting him, Naruto did have a tendency to lose control and get a little _too_ violent. To hear that there had been no problems since his hospitalization was more a relief than anything. It meant Naruto had made progress, and progress meant there was still a chance for him.

"I find it strange." Orochimaru said. "The moment Naruto walked through these doors, he stopped fighting. No one goes through a drastic change like that overnight. But he refuses to talk about anything from when he was violent, so I've never managed to learn why he changed so suddenly."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "That—Maybe I can talk to him. He might be more open to it since I knew him back then."

Orochimaru folded his arms, tapping a pen against his chin as he closed his eyes in thought. Sasuke hoped Naruto would let Sasuke help him. All he wanted was to ensure Naruto was safe, and to someday, hopefully, get him healthy enough for the doctors to let him out of the institution.

But that would never happen if Naruto didn't trust him. He'd never get out if he continued staying silent about everything.

"Perhaps. Is there anything else you'd like to discuss?" Orochimaru said.

Sasuke perked his head up. Yes. There was something else, and it was one of the main reasons he came to talk to Orochimaru. It had slipped his mind beforehand, as he was preoccupied with what Naruto had said.

But now that Orochimaru was asking…

"Why did you diagnose him with psychopathy?"

Orochimaru blinked, surprised, before leaning back in his desk. He closed his eyes once more, and Sasuke was beginning to think that would be a regular occurrence.

"There was a time when I believed he was doing better. So much so that I was ready to initiate a parole hearing in the hopes of discharging him. But the Hokage was still angry at his defiance against her, and wouldn't allow him to leave. I doubt she meant for him to be here this long.

"Naruto has been getting steadily worse ever since, and we can't let him out now. Most doctors believe the only reason Naruto got better was because he was faking it. _Manipulating us._ And they would have fired me as his psychologist had I not diagnosed him with psychopathy."

Sasuke blinked. "You… _purposely_ misdiagnosed him?"

Nausea rose to his stomach, and the burn of acidic bile pricked his throat. Sasuke pressed his hand to his mouth, leaving the other one of rest against his stomach. Orochimaru had only made Naruto's prognoses ten times harder with that diagnosis, and even if it was a misdiagnosis, there was little chance of anyone ever believing him.

After all, once someone was convinced you were crazy, it was near impossible to convince them otherwise.

Even if you had been sane in the first place.

Orochimaru heaved a deep breath, raking a hand through his hair. "I made it so the only person who believed he was not a psychopath was the one delivering his prognosis. In many ways, it has benefitted him more than—"

"He'll _never_ get out with that diagnosis."

"Every other doctor would have treated him as a psychopath and he would be far worse off for it."

Sasuke shook his head. It wasn't right. Naruto shouldn't have to suffer with a label that didn't belong to him. The diagnosis of psychopathy couldn't be good for him, and the prognosis must have been even harder to deal with.

"So, if everyone thinks he's a psychopath, why is he still being treated for schizophrenia?" Sasuke said.

Orochimaru blinked. "The act of _feigning_ illness brought him to the diagnoses of psychopathy. But pretending to be healthy doesn't mean he isn't schizophrenic."

Sasuke scoffed. _Figures._ They assumed he was faking illness except in the case of voices talking in his head.

_Damn doctors._

Sasuke rose from the couch, giving Orochimaru one last glare before storming off.

He was getting Naruto out of here if it was the last thing he did.

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

Naruto crossed his arms, glaring up at Hinata from the bed he sat on. She just finished checking his vitals, and as always, they were normal. Naruto hadn't spoken a word to her since she came in, too caught up in the confusion of seeing Sasuke and the anger of her actually leaving him like this. Yes. It was true that she told him she'd be taking less hours. Did that mean he had to like it? No. But that didn't mean he had any right to request she change her mind.

Even if he had thought she was joking when she first brought it up.

**It's denial.** Kyuubi said.

And when Naruto talked to Orochimaru about her leaving him, he also said Naruto was in denial.

And then, of all the things to bring up, Orochimaru wanted to press the issue of his abandonment issues.

_Not that I have any._

Orochimaru may have been his doctor, but he was still a fucking idiot. The only problem Naruto had was the fact that he was stuck in this goddamn hospital.

And that Sasuke was here with him.

And that Hinata was leaving.

He raked a hand through his hair, scrunching his eyes shut as a low moan released from his lips. Why did she have to do this to him? He didn't  _want_  another nurse. Hinata was perfect. She was kind, anticipated his needs before he even spoke them, and could tell just by watching if any new medication affected him negatively.

She was the best nurse he could have asked for.

"You took less hours." He muttered.

He hadn't meant for her to hear. Not when he truly had no right to even talk to her about this, especially if it actually convinced her to stay.

He had no right to complain. Not when he understood the pain of someone trying to control him. If Hinata knew he wanted her to stop this nonsense and work more, then she had every right to think of if him as an asshole. It was  _her_  life, after all. If she wanted the leave, then by all means, she was allowed to leave.

But still, he pouted. He  _thought_  she was joking about it.

He heaved a deep breath as Hinata's eyes widened a fraction, and although the sight of those pupil-less, white eyes always freaked him out, he'd grown accustomed to the way they changed shape whenever she expressed feeling.

Those eyes weren't like his. It was impossible to see the depths of her mind through them. Not when there was a layer of white to get through first. But the shape and movement around the eyes told him everything he needed to know.

"I told you I would." She said, voice as concerned as always. She probably thought he'd forgotten that conversation. He often did. Or at least pretended to. Sometimes he got a little too comfortable and started talking about how rude Kyuubi was. She never judged him for it, never asked any questions or interrogated him. Just listened and let him talk through the confusion and anger and resentment.

God, how could he lose someone so perfect?

She'd even pretended to believe him when he feigned forgetting his rants about Kyuubi.

Hell, she'd gone along with his decision to forget the conversation.

"I thought you were joking," he said, folding his arms over his chest. "And why Sasuke? Isn't there any other nurse I can have. You  _know_  I don't want want any former coworkers of mine visiting, let alone treating me."

Hinata pursed her lips, her hair a tad wavy from the ponytail she wore hours earlier. "But Sasuke wasn't  _just_  a coworker. You've always talked about him like a friend, and I thought you could use someone familiar in my absence."

He closed his eyes. Of course that was her intention. While it was true he didn't want to start over with a new nurse, it would be easier to work with Sasuke than it would be someone he didn't know. At least this way, there was already some sort of relationship built in, and Naruto knew that whatever secrets he told Sasuke wouldn't be outed to the world.

So maybe it wouldn't be too bad. Maybe he was just being paranoid.

His fingers twitched. No. Not paranoia. That wasn't it.  _Caution_.

He was being cautious because if he were paranoid, then he would have to admit that he was schizophrenic.

And he most certainly was  _not_  crazy.

Hinata sighed, sitting down next to him as Naruto pouted. Her white eyes locked onto his blue, and Naruto blinked as she rested her hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry if it's not what you wanted, Naruto." She said, "he came to me asking for a favor, and I did it because it was a good job opportunity for him, and I know all he wants to do is help you. It's all he's ever wanted."

"I don't care." He said, "how do I get rid of him?"

Hinata rested her hand against his. "You'll be okay." She said, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. "Now I've gotta go meet with another patient. I'll see you later."

* * *

Sasuke was crossed legged, notebook in hand, and as blunt as ever. He hadn't changed much in these few years. His face was certainly more pointed. But his eyes and skin? Still as dark and pale as Naruto remembered.

And his personality was still so stoic and uncaring.

Naruto hated it.

"Do you like your psychologist?" Sasuke said.

He had a notebook in one hand, and a pen in the other. This was the first question Sasuke dared to ask since he came into his room. Up until now, he'd done nothing but glance around and take notes. His eyes wandered up and down Naruto's body like a hawk. Looking for signs of an insane man. Seeking the fidgeting and the restlessness and finding confirmation in them.

Naruto clenched his fists. He wasn't crazy. He wasn't. Kyuubi was real, and Naruto didn't know how they couldn't see that.

"He's fine, I guess. Kinda shady. But you already know that."

"Shady sounds about right. I think we both know you're not a psychopath."

Naruto scoffed. He was one of the few people in the village who knew about Orochimaru's criminal history. And the only reason he knew was because Sasuke told him forever ago. Back when Naruto was free to roam about the world.

Back when he had a life worth living.

He shook his head. Thoughts like that were best kept in the back of his mind.

"I hate that diagnosis." He said.

Sasuke uncrossed his legs and leaned forward. "Who wouldn't?"

Naruto chuckled. Maybe, just maybe, this wouldn't be so bad. Yes, his best friend may now be his doctor. But that didn't have to be a bad thing. Maybe it even increased his chances of being believed about Kyuubi. Maybe Sasuke would realize Naruto's symptoms simply didn't add up.

Maybe Sasuke was his way out of this dump.

A small warmth, a hope, a shimmer of happiness, spread through his chest. How long had it been since he felt that? He couldn't remember. It must have been before he got stuck here. Before he realized he was never leaving. And he didn't want to let go of the feeling in fear of never having it again. So he held onto it. He grasped it with his hands and tried to keep it there forever.

He never wanted it to end.

"Is your medicine working? Any side effects?" Sasuke said.

Except it did. Every small bit of happiness always ended. And all it took was a question about his goddamned medicine for it to break.

"Besides making me feel loopy?"

Sasuke bit his lip and wrote something down. "I think that's kind of the point."

"Yeah. Doctors don't like dealing with us, so they put us on pills that make us drunk and call it medicine."

"It's not that bad."

"Then you take those pills."

Sasuke frowned. "I don't need them."

Naruto rolled his eyes. Same excuse as the other doctors.  _No one_  needed pills like that. "Neither do I, but that doesn't stop anyone."

Sasuke sighed, tapped his pen on his notebook.

"You're schizophrenic, Naruto. All we've given you is a dopamine inhibitor."

_And sedatives, ketamine, and high doses of morphine._

Naruto wasn't stupid enough to let the files they kept on him go unread. He wanted to know what it was they put into his body, and after breaking into the file room and reading the one with his name, Naruto learned that they gave him more drugs than they told him about.

"Isn't dopamine the thing that makes you happy? Why are you inhibiting that?"

He wished he didn't have to ask, because Naruto knew the answer already. The file was incredibly clear about it. But Sasuke didn't know he knew, and Naruto didn't know if Sasuke would tell him. Most doctors didn't. But Sasuke wasn't like most doctors. He was a friend.

Someone Naruto could use.

And maybe trust.

"Too much dopamine can cause hallucinations. Though the voices have yet to be explained."

Naruto nodded. He tried to keep a straight face. Wanted to make sure Sasuke truly believed Naruto knew none of this information. "You're saying I have too much happy chemicals in my brain?"

"Yes."

"That's weird, man. But I'm not schizophrenic, so all you're doing is getting rid of whatever happiness my brain gives me."

Sasuke pursed his lips. "You're still in denial about that?"

"I can't explain it." Naruto said, "But I  _know_  Kyuubi is real. I'm not crazy."

For half a second, Sasuke's eyes widened. "Kyuubi? No. Never mind. I never said you were crazy. I said you were sick."

Naruto clenched his fists, took a deep breath. "I'm not. You doctors just think we're too crazy to understand."

"I'm not a doctor." Sasuke said.

"I don't care."


End file.
